Worth the Risk
by YanksLuver
Summary: It's been five years since Sydney walked out of Vaughn's life. What happens when he turns up on her doorstep?


Title: Worth the Risk  
  
Author: Steph (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)  
  
Category: Romance/Drama  
  
Spoilers: Nope.   
  
Rating: PG  
  
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.  
  
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong to me. I do this out of  
  
a love for the show and no infringement is intended.  
  
Summary: It's been five years since Sydney walked out of Vaughn's life. What happens when he turns up on her doorstep?  
  
Note: I'm baaaaack! Miss me? : ) So, I've been gone for a while. Vaughn and Sydney hadn't inspired me in quite some time. But this little thing came to me, so I figured I'd get back in the game. (Shhh.Don't tell them, but I had a little fling with the "Gilmore Girls". Truthfully, I'm hoping it turns into a more serious relationship, but I'll have to figure out a way to juggle both relationships!) Anyway, this story doesn't have anything to do with the finale. In fact, forget that Vaughn "died", that Will knows about Sydney's double life and that Mommy Dearest came back. None of those things have any effect on the story since it takes place in the future, but it just makes it easier to set the scene. So, hope you enjoy and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph  
  
* * * Worth the Risk: Part 1/1* * *  
  
It had been ten years to the day since he'd first laid eyes on her and five since he'd last seen her face.  
  
SD-6 and all its branches had been destroyed five years ago. He stood out in the open that day, in the middle of a park, waiting for her. He hadn't checked for tails and he planned to look her right in those big brown eyes as they spoke. There would be no more pretending.  
  
She smiled as she approached him, but he knew there was something different about her. He couldn't put his finger on it, something had just changed.  
  
A slow smile spread across his face as she came to stand before him. "You're finally free."  
  
They were finally free.  
  
She nodded, only meeting his eyes briefly before turning them to the ground. "Yeah."  
  
He swallowed hard and rubbed his sweaty palms together. He'd waited far too long to ask her this question. He'd wanted to a thousand times, but a million things stood in his way. Now, the path was clear.  
  
He was going to ask her to that hockey game, take her on a real date. He wanted to start slow, act as if they were just two normal people getting to know each other. He loved her; he'd been in love with her for what seemed like forever. But he wanted the chance to discover her all over again, to fall in love with her all over again. This time, he wanted to do it right.  
  
Plus, there were still so many things he wanted to know about her. There were things they had never discussed before. What's her favorite movie? How does she like her eggs?  
  
He wanted to know everything about her.  
  
He was just about to speak, when she beat him to it. "I'm leaving."  
  
His eyes widened and his mouth dropped slightly open. He tried to act as if he didn't feel like he'd just been hit by a truck. "Leaving?"  
  
She finally met his eyes, as she nodded. "I was offered a teaching position in New York. I've accepted it."  
  
Time seemed to stand still right then. All he could do was stare at her. She paused a few moments and just looked at him, then went on. He didn't hear what else she said.  
  
Some time later, he'd realize that there was a look in her eyes after she'd relayed her news. He couldn't be sure, but he thought that look said 'ask me to stay'. It was a question that would haunt him for the next five years.  
  
He tried to speak, but was at a loss for words. He had wanted to ask her to stay; he had tried to ask her the question he was going to before his world came crashing down. But no words came.  
  
When he'd finally regained the ability to speak, he could only manage a few empty words and was unable to meet her gaze. "Congratulations, Sydney. I'm really happy for you. Good luck."  
  
He forced himself to lift his head and meet her eyes once more. That image of her would have to last him forever.  
  
Then he bent his head and walked away from her.  
  
That day had led him to this one and he now stood on her doorstep.  
  
He'd thought about her everyday for the last five years. She was constantly on his mind. After she had gotten settled in New York, she'd left him her phone number on his answering machine. He'd almost dialed that number a thousand times. A few times he had dialed it and listened to it ring a couple of times, before hanging up. One time she even answered. He heard her voice, her beautiful voice, and it only reminded him of what he'd lost. He couldn't bring himself to say anything. He'd simply hung up. That was the last time he'd heard her voice and it was the last time he tried to call her.  
  
Still, that day five years ago haunted him. He'd let her slip away. He'd let the one woman he had ever truly loved slip away.  
  
It wasn't until two days ago, as he sat across from a blind date, that he'd realized he couldn't go on like this. He'd dated woman after woman...all beautiful, all intelligent, all nice, but not one of them had come even close to comparing with her.  
  
She was different. She was Sydney.  
  
As he looked at the perfectly nice woman who sat across from him, he couldn't help but wish she were Sydney. And, then, just like that, it came to him. He had to take a chance. He had to give himself the chance to be with the only woman he would ever really love.  
  
He'd booked a flight the moment he got home.  
  
And now, here he stood, on her doorstep...Ten years to the day since he'd first laid eyes on her, bozo hair and all.  
  
It was a coincidence that he had decided to come on the ten-year anniversary of their first meeting. He hadn't even realized it until he looked at his ticket as he waited in the airport. He'd smiled and wondered if maybe fate was on his side.  
  
* * * *  
  
He took a deep breath and then swallowed against the lump in his throat, before slowly raising his hand up and knocking on the door. A few moments later, he could hear the sound of footsteps approaching and barking...and then her voice. He could hear the voice he'd missed for so long.  
  
"Get away from the door, Maggie. Sorry, Francie, it's just that someone's at the door and Maggie is being a pai-...." Sydney managed to get the door open, while keeping Maggie at bay with her right leg and holding the phone with her left hand.  
  
When she'd seen his face, her voice had faltered and the arm holding the phone had dropped to her side.  
  
"Vaughn," she said softly, as she stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at him.  
  
"Hi, Sydney," he managed, though she'd taken his breath away the moment he'd laid eyes on her again.  
  
The image he'd saved in his memory of her, the one that had kept him up countless nights, couldn't compare with the real thing.  
  
She hadn't changed much. Her hair was a little shorter, just grazing her shoulders, and it had a slight wave to it.  
  
Everything else about her was the same...Her flawless skin, soulful brown eyes, full red lips and perfect physique hadn't changed a bit.  
  
Yet he sensed something had changed about her. There was a serenity that surrounded her now. That was something she'd never had while he'd known her.  
  
They stared at each other for a few moments before Sydney smiled, shook her head and stepped aside. "I'm sorry, how rude of me. Please, come in."  
  
Vaughn smiled and walked past her, catching a glimpse of her Golden Retriever before she sprinted away. "That's okay, I know it was a surprise. I apologize for not calling ahead. It was just a spur of the moment thing."  
  
She closed the door and turned towards him, "Oh, so are you in town for something?"  
  
He averted his eyes. "Not exactly."  
  
Sydney studied him with curiosity before leading him into the living. "Make yourself comfortable."  
  
Vaughn surveyed the place. It was a small, but comfortable house on the outskirts of New York City. The living room was decorated in warm, earth tones. There were various pictures and paintings on the wall, as well as assorted knick-knacks that lined the tables. He could tell by the way she had decorated it that it was the first place that had ever really felt like home to her.  
  
He looked around for some pictures or any sign of a significant other and let out an imperceptible sigh of relief when he found none.  
  
He turned to her. "You've got a nice place here."  
  
"I like it."  
  
They fell into an uncomfortable silence, until Vaughn broke it. "So, how's work? Do you like the university?"  
  
"It's challenging and tiring work, but the students make it bearable. They also drive me crazy sometimes. But every time I speak to one of them about a late paper, I just try to remember that they may be living a secret double life that consumes much of their time."  
  
He offered her a nervous chuckle and a grin, before they lapsed into another silence. After a few moments, Vaughn once again broke it. "And how do you like liv-..."  
  
"Vaughn," she said, cutting him off.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Her expression had grown serious. "Why did you come here?"  
  
She'd caught him off-guard. Truthfully, he hadn't come up with a way to tell her that he missed her and wanted to give them the shot they deserved. And now she sensed that something more was going on and he didn't know what to say.  
  
He fumbled for his words. "I...well...I figured I'd just stop by and...see how you're doing."  
  
Sydney's eyes narrowed at him. "There was a time when you never lied to me."  
  
Vaughn looked down at his hands and replied softly, "A lot can change in five years."  
  
"Have you?" she asked, her eyes never leaving his face.  
  
For some reason, the question made Vaughn angry. She would know the answer to that question, if she hadn't left...If she'd ever called or written. But he hadn't heard a word from her in five years.  
  
Maybe if she had just made the first gesture, he wouldn't have hung up that phone so many times. Maybe he wanted to know that she still cared...That their relationship didn't end the moment she said goodbye to SD-6 and the CIA. Maybe he needed to know that that thing between them he'd always sensed wasn't imagined...That it was real.  
  
The moment the words 'I'm leaving' had left her mouth, he'd questioned everything about their relationship and nothing made sense anymore.  
  
Maybe she never wanted more. Maybe it was just him.  
  
Vaughn swallowed and forced his eyes to meet hers. "You'd know the answer to that question if you'd bothered to keep in touch."  
  
Sydney's eyes widened at the stinging comment. She lowered her eyes. "It's not like I'm the only one who didn't keep in touch."  
  
Vaughn shook his head, a bitter chuckle flowing out of his mouth. "I didn't leave, Sydney. You did."  
  
His accusatory tone took her by surprise. "And what, there's some rule about who should keep in touch when one friend moves away?"  
  
The comment unleashed something in Vaughn and he was suddenly feeling very bold. He'd kept his feelings inside for far too long. There was nothing to lose now.  
  
He snorted, "Friends."  
  
Sydney eyed him for a long moment. Her voice was soft, almost hesitant, as she spoke. "You never thought of us as friends? I know our relationship was unconventional, but-..."  
  
Vaughn nodded, "Yes, it was. Our relationship was unconventional. But I don't know how many 'friends' would risk their careers, not to mention their lives, for you."  
  
Sydney simply stared at him in confusion. "What are you trying to say?"  
  
Vaughn's gaze pierced hers, as he spoke, "Why did you leave?"  
  
Sydney's expression grew even more confused. "I told you. I received a job offer-..."  
  
Vaughn shook his head sharply, "No, don't give me that, Sydney. You could've had a job at any school. Why New York?"  
  
Sydney lowered her eyes. "It's not that easy, Vaughn. They don't just hand out jobs as English lit professors on every street corner. I took-..."  
  
"On your first day of freedom, you accepted the first and only job you applied for. And it just happened to be 3000 miles away."  
  
Her eyebrows peaked. "How did you know that?"  
  
He smiled acrimoniously and shook his head. "I didn't until now. It was just a hunch."  
  
Sydney looked at him as he went on. "I'd always thought that for some reason and I just couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand why you'd leave your friends and father now that you could finally form truthful relationships with them. I couldn't understand why you wouldn't at least take some time and enjoy your newfound freedom, before deciding on a job that would take you away from everything you knew and loved. I just couldn't understand it."  
  
Sydney looked down at her pants and pressed at a wrinkle in them. She began softly, refusing to meet his eyes. "Do you want to know why I did that? It was because of you."  
  
His brow creased, her answer surprising him. "Me?"  
  
She slowly lifted her eyes and met his. "I didn't know what to do about you, Vaughn. My job had defined our relationship. With my friends, I could tell them everything and, in the end, they'd still be my friends. My relationship with them had other facets, areas that were completely separate from my job. And with my father, I knew that we just had to learn how to trust each other as father and daughter. But with you...with you..."  
  
"What?" he asked, the confusion clearly evident in his voice.  
  
Sydney took a deep breath before going on. "With you, it was different. For five years, you were the only one I could be completely open with. But our relationship had constraints. We couldn't even be seen in public together. And when those constraints disappeared, I didn't know what to do."  
  
Vaughn's expression remained as perplexed as ever. "I don't understand. What are you trying to say?"  
  
Sydney looked into his eyes as she went on, "When those constraints disappeared, I got scared. Because...they were the only things standing in the way of me being with you."  
  
Vaughn could feel his breath catch in his chest and for a moment he thought he'd imagined her words.  
  
He managed to say, "You wanted to be with me?"  
  
Sydney smiled nervously and nodded. "So much I almost couldn't stand it."  
  
Vaughn tried to steady his racing heart, the joy her words gave him nearly causing it to leap out of his chest. He licked his lips, "Then why did you leave?"  
  
Sydney shrugged, "I was scared. When you didn't ask me to stay, I figured I'd imagined that there was something more between us."  
  
Vaughn shook his head in amazement, his tone conveying that she couldn't have been more wrong. "That's why you were scared? Because you didn't think I returned your feelings?"  
  
Sydney averted her gaze, instead choosing to focus on a vase behind his head. "No, I was afraid you returned them and when I thought you didn't, it allowed me to move on."  
  
Vaughn sighed, "I have to tell you, Sydney. I am completely confused."  
  
Sydney once again met his eyes, her voice so soft he could barely hear her. "I realized that I had been using the obstacles that stood in our way all of those years as a way of hiding my true feelings, my fears. And once those obstacles were gone I didn't know how to hide anymore, so I ran." She paused and then added, "I was scared of loving someone again."  
  
Vaughn swallowed hard and fought to control the urge to pull her into his arms. Was it true? Could she really love him?  
  
"Why were you scared?"  
  
Sydney shook her head and ignored a tear that had slipped down her cheek. "Because I've lost every man I've ever loved."  
  
Vaughn moved closer to her and used his thumb to wipe away a tear. His voice emerged in a whisper, "You've never loved me before."  
  
Sydney scanned his face for a moment, before replying softly, "Yes, I have. For a long time now."  
  
Vaughn slowly closed the distance between them, placing a soft kiss on her lips.  
  
Then he pulled back, his thumb caressing her cheek. "I know you're scared. I am too. You've loved and lost and I know that taking that leap of faith again is a risk. But I also know how lost I've been without you, Sydney. I've been walking around for the last five years in a trance, going through the motions, not feeling anything. You made me feel something. When I was with you, I felt alive; I was happier than I've ever been. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life feeling that way. God, Sydney, you've taken so many risks in your lifetime, why not take a risk on us?"  
  
Sydney smiled.and then burst out laughing.  
  
Vaughn's eyes widened, his confused expression reappearing. "Did I say something funny?"  
  
She shook her head, as she controlled her laughter, "No, I'm sorry, what you said was beautiful...It was just that as you finished saying it, I got this weird feeling that I was in some corny romantic movie."  
  
Vaughn's face gave way to a grin and he shook his head. "Oh, so it was corny. Thank you very much. Here I am pouring my heart out to you and basically begging you to give me, us, a chance, and your imagining that I'm, like, Huey Grant or something."  
  
Sydney laughed again and Vaughn shrugged his shoulders, "What?"  
  
"Hugh Grant. His name is Hugh Grant." She paused and then added, while wrapping her arms around his neck. "And you don't bear even a slight resemblance to him. You're much more handsome and I've seen you do a British accent.Not pretty."  
  
Vaughn feigned offense, "Hey, my British accent is just-..."  
  
Sydney silenced his protest with a kiss.  
  
As they kissed, neither one could believe that, after all this time, it was finally happening.  
  
They slowly separated and Vaughn spoke softly, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but when Hugh Grant, or whatever his name is, says that corny stuff, he usually gets the girl." He paused and then added, "So does this mean that-..."  
  
Vaughn was interrupted by Maggie Bristow jumping up on the couch between them. Sydney and Vaughn laughed, as they petted the Golden Retriever.  
  
Sydney looked at Vaughn with eyebrows raised and smiled, "I sure hope Donovan's not going to mind sharing his territory."  
  
Vaughn's face lit up at the true meaning behind her statement. He grinned and shrugged his shoulders, "Well, if he's anything like his owner, then he'll do just about anything for a beautiful girl named Bristow."  
  
Sydney's smile grew and they both leaned over the dog to meet in a kiss.  
  
When they finally separated due to a lack of oxygen, Sydney shooed the dog away and placed her head on Vaughn's shoulder. He smiled, as he looked at the face of the woman he'd loved from afar for so long. Nothing had ever felt so right before.  
  
"Can I ask you a question?" he said.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"What's your favorite movie?"  
  
"'Gone with the Wind'".  
  
"And how do you like your eggs?"  
  
"That's two questions."  
  
He smiled. "Humor me."  
  
"Scrambled." She paused and then asked, "Is that all?"  
  
His smiled widened, as he placed his arm around her and pulled her closer to him.  
  
"Not by a long shot."  
  
***************************************THE END************************************* Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you thought! ~Steph 


End file.
